Feminine Receptivity

So many of us women tend to over-give, believing that our worth and lovability are tied to how much we do for others. Some of us stretch ourselves so far that we develop an unconscious impulse to please, giving and pleasing without pause, without hesitation, without even reflecting on why we do it.

Today, I invite you to pause and reflect.  Why do you give so much? What are you truly seeking? What has all this over-extending of your beautiful energy done for you? Because it has done something, on some level, it has given you what you were hoping for, or else you wouldn’t have kept doing it.

For me, I believed that by taking care of everything; cleaning, cooking, managing holidays and events, I would create extra time with my loved ones. I thought that if I did everything efficiently, we would have more time to play games, watch movies, or simply be together.

In relationships, I assumed that the more I gave, the more he (whoever he was at the time) would love me and appreciate me for everything I did. Oh boy, was I wrong…. I later realized that I could never find the one because I hadn’t first allowed myself to be the one, even for myself.

Do you know that feeling? Giving and giving, yet still being denied the love or recognition you long for?

• You may be pouring your energy into your career, giving your best to your boss or company, only to feel depleted, realizing later that you could have spent some of that time nurturing relationships that truly matter. And yes, we all need to make a living, but as Cinderella’s stepsister learned, “chopping a heel and clipping a toe” to fit a shoe doesn’t work in the long run. Instead, we need to find the shoe that truly fits—one that supports us, rather than drains us.

• You may be giving your all to your family, yet still feel unseen and unheard.

• You may be the dependable friend who’s always there for others, yet sometimes feel lonely in their company.

So, what can we do to create the change we so deeply need?

The Art of Receiving

• Ask to be given to.

• Ask for help.

• Ask for support.

• Ask for that hug, that kiss, that touch.

• Dare to express your own very valid needs. You are human too!

I say dare because, at first, it does take courage. And that’s okay. Give yourself time to get used to it, but don’t let fear hold you back—fear of being a burden, of being too much, of feeling guilty. Just start. Try it. Practice it. And always stay true to yourself.

One thing is asking; another is receiving. If you aren’t open to receiving, you may not even recognize when you are being given to. Receptivity is a practice, too. Here’s how to begin:

1. Ask only for what you know people are able to give—whether small or big.

2. Be present and aware. When you ask for what you need, pay attention. Many times, people do respond with love and generosity, but we’re so used to over-giving that we overlook it.

3. Trust. Trust that you are just as worthy of receiving as those you give to.

If you would like to practice receptivity in a supportive space, I warmly invite you to join our FeminaFlourish Lounge, a beautiful community where women explore feminine skills and expand their capacity to receive with grace.

You can join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/3696549237256170/

With love,

Elizabeth Walker