How To Love What is Good For You

Oh yes, please…..Don’t we all just want to know how to do just that?

We need to learn to feel ourselves in each moment and be honest with ourselves about what’s moving us.

You might sit with these questions playing on repeat in your head now:

·      How do I love what is good for me?

·      What is good for me?

·      Does that mean that I love what isn’t good for me now?

·      But what if I want what I want no matter if it’s good for me or not?

·      Why haven’t I loved what was good for me in the past?

·      How do I know if that is exactly what I have done?

Please feel free to enlighten me on what goes through your mind when you read this title. I only mention the questions that arise within me, thinking that these might relate to you as well.

First, I would like to say that this is no easy task. If you aren’t there yet, don’t punish yourself for it. Allow yourself to learn deeper truths about yourself and why it didn’t work out for you in the past.

Accept where you have been and learn so you can avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

We are never going to love what is good for us if we don’t love ourselves. I know the whole “love yourself first” can seem like a cliché. It really isn’t But so many of us have gone through deeply traumatic experiences, also smaller ones, however, they are still there interfering with our present moment, choices, love connections, relationships in general and, unfortunately taught us that we have to do something to deserve love, that we are not loveable, not enough etc.

So, do we need to heal these wounds first?

Nope, we don’t have to. The most important thing is that we are aware of their presence and how they influence our life. The triggers they create and how not to run away from the comfortability but lea into them instead, as each one holds its own opposite and thus that which we do want.

What is good for me?

Yes, good question. What is good for you? You are the only one who knows. But in general, I will say that what is good for us is to listen to our intuition, ground ourselves and reality test each situation we are in. Pay attention!

To train this, I ask my clients to open the fridge and start looking at what’s in there and if it’s something that they like or merely something they have been taught to eat and drink through life, upbringing or simply bad habits attained by engaging with their surroundings.

So, get to work and train this. Taste again, really taste and be real with yourself: Do you like it or don’t you. If not, don’t buy it and put it in your fridge again.

Allow yourself to know instead of assuming

We need to learn to feel ourselves in each moment and be honest with ourselves about what’s moving us. Know yourself as well as you can through daring to ask yourself the difficult questions like these, and dare to ask deeper and deeper into each answer until you feel that you can’t go any deeper. You will feel immediate relief when you allow yourself to know instead of assuming.

Does that mean that I love what isn’t good for me now?

No, not necessarily. Again, only you know.

Are you smoking, drinking, eating healthily? Is that good for you in the present moment and why?

Are you in a relationship in which you feel safe and loved or not?

Are you in healthy relationships with your friends and family?

But what if I want what I want no matter if it’s good for me or not?

Well, then you need to ask yourself why you want it. Why would you ever want to be in a relationship or do something that isn’t good for you? Why do you want it? What is controlling your choices? These very good questions lead to the next in line: Why haven’t I loved what was good for me in the past? And… How do I know if that is exactly what I have done?

Are you content? We don’t have to be happy all the time. Happiness is short and in small windows of time. To feel content on a day-to-day basis is what we should aim for. To feel fulfilled, glad and content is something to focus on. Even on days where we feel down, we can still look for aspects of life in which we feel content.

Maybe you have been in a relationship that ended and you were heartbroken. You didn’t want it to end. Ask yourself why you wanted that relationship. Ask yourself if you had the feeling that it was going to end at some point. Be real with yourself about what wasn’t good and what wasn’t real. How much did you project into that relationship? Was it ever real or was it more a matter of seeing the person’s potential. Did you give your body away too soon and thus created feelings for the person? Whatever it was for you, learn from it. Listen to the signals apart from all the noise of the past trying to recreate the exact same circumstances that led you away from yourself in the first place.

As you can read in this article, the key is to continue to ask yourself questions that take you down the rabbit hole of your own life, your deepest self. And in each response, there is a demand to be as honest as we can be with ourselves. This isn’t always easy nor always doable, since we might have built blind spots over the years as a tool of protection and our way of feeling safe in the harsh world.

A gentle invitation

If these words stirred something in you; questions, resistance, relief, or a quiet yes, I want you to know that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

Learning to love what is good for you is not about discipline or self-control. It’s about reconnecting to yourself, your body, your intuition, and your truth beneath old patterns and protective strategies. Sometimes we can do that alone. And sometimes, we need to be witnessed, guided, and gently challenged in a safe space.

If you feel that I could support you in exploring what is truly good for you, whether in your relationships, your choices, or your connection to yourself and your female power in spirituality, I invite you to reach out and work with me. Together, we create space for honest inquiry, deep listening, and clarity that comes from within you, not from outside expectations.

And if you’re looking for a softer entry point, a place to stay connected and inspired, I warmly invite you to join my Facebook group for women, FeminaFlourish Lounge.

Inside the lounge, I share:

• Weekly live videos

• insights into the energy of each month and each week

• The Union Spread, a tarot reading for the masculine and feminine in the month ahead

• and guided meditations to help you come back to yourself

It’s a space for women who are ready to ask deeper questions, feel more, and choose themselves, without pressure, comparison, or performance.

Whatever your next step is, let it be one that brings you closer to yourself. That, in itself, is already an act of love.

With love

Elizabeth Walker